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$15,000 in debt
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15,000 poems

another new life

October 1st, 2013 § 1 comment

Poem #243 for Nancy Paris

 

Turning the keys in,
I knew my life was about to change;
It does so frequently
It does so more than I expect it to

I walk down the stairs with my luggage,
tape the envelope to the door
and sigh as I step out of the gate
So, it’s like that, huh?  
No turning back now?

As I sit on the runway, I think of the last 2 years;
I think of the fights with absurdity on both sides
I think of what I accomplished and what I tried to do
I think of the help I gave, the selflessness I fought to hold on to.
Now, none of it matters
It’s all over now
but I left it, left them, better than when I found ‘em.

My stomach drops a bit as we become airborne,
realizing there is nothing I could do to cure the
deficiencies of others;
Can’t help he who cannot help himself.
Still, a friend is a friend and I do not have many;
losing any loses a part of myself in the process.
Just do not give up on trust.

As the landing gear touches down,
I smile knowing I am in a different state,
knowing I know nothing of my life past tomorrow,
skin tickling, knowing that I know absolutely nothing

Year thirty-six is about to begin
as I go to sleep in my hotel room,
perfectly comfortable, content and exhausted from the thousands of miles I have walked
pumped-up for the thousands I am preparing myself to begin walking
understanding that everything will change once I become certain of anything
looking forward to that first cut-away as I freefall out of control
and have only the instincts
to save me.

af

(written on computer in Capone’s town)

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