Connect with me on Facebook Connect with me on Google+ Get my feed
$15,000 in debt
15,000 people
15,000 poems

bittersweet mother

January 26th, 2013 § 0 comments

Poem #14 for Gift Poem from Pat Cannon

 

I was always a good student

followed the system, obeyed orders, climbed the ladder

I said “Yes, Ma’am,” and “No, Sir”

I wanted “A’s”, I wanted to be a lawyer

 

She taught me, young, to be irresponsible

What I will always remember

is her trying

to teach me what was “right” in life

but I knew she never believed any of it herself

I always stayed within the lines

and it was she who would praise me

with a wink

then push my wrist to cross the barrier containing my colors

 

I never knew how to be myself

because she wouldn’t let herself be

 

Over time, I have grown to resent my mother

and she is no longer around now

just a shell of a woman giving home to the remains of a

wild spirit drowned in the confusion

of learning that a society

cares only for society

not the individual

 

The woman I always wanted to talk to is gone

and I miss her so much every time

I have to stand up for myself

for living the exact life

I want to live

the exact life

she would have loved to live as well

 

I was always a good student

Thanks to a memory of this person

I am now a shrewd one as well

 

 

-  af

 

 

(written with pen on paper)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Follow

Get every new post on this blog delivered to your Inbox.

Join other followers: