Life is so much calmer now, tolerable
Suddenly, it feels almost enjoyable I feel a little ill it is my body fighting back finally because I am home and sad and reflective and wanting still
through all the gratuity and peace I feel Peace is a very strange state of mind
It doesn't feel fulfilling yet I know there is nothing else I really need I have become obsessed with KNOWING when I am at my limit
even though I feel the signs of when enough is enough I feel full, tired, in pain but I keep going I’ve never understood why I hold so much contempt for and spite towards my own body It is not really that I want to be a creature of the night It is that I envy the love others have for each other the family, the person (the people) who is (are) there
all day, every day So, I yearn, but otherwise,
I feel such peace
a peace that makes me quite restless, especially in a city as this To live in a small town I,
with this typewriter, in love with a gang of my own free from all the prejudices, judgments and insults
lashed at me throughout all of my years I,
peaceful and aware of
my contentment
- af
(written on typewriter)
Peace of mind is a state of mind and if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.
Did George Burns say that or did he say:
“Age is a state of mind and if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.”
Anyways, it doesn’t matter because I don’t know what state I’m in.
…and it’s the best state there is
For me, it’s a matter of breaking with the old habits of thought regarding what and how I SHOULD feel over what I inherently feel. Oy, the guilt of a recovering Catholic Sicilian.