I judged the sick
now I am not healthy
I mocked the crazy
now I am insane
I ignored the lonely
now I am in solitude
I mistrusted the quiet
now I am silent
I insulted conformity
and now I am unoriginal

I guess it is true…
I am everything I put my mind to

af

(written with pen on paper)

Where to begin?

One day sober and
hurricanes, avalances, typhoons, deep freezes
and one major fucking earthquake
Exhausted, hungry, stone-dazed
wandered removed from any life known
o med grit bac bisc n joe

Time to breathe
walking too fast now leads to trying too slowly
crack dem bones
get a board to slap these feet on
my many faucets of exultation
screaming omens can’t help but hear

Where to begin?
fuck if I know
step first, step second
cause there ain’t nothing past the present

 
af

(written with pen on paper at slim’s)

Stop staring at me from the side of your eyes
Stop talking about me, please?
I am trying to find one place in this city
on the outskirts
where I could just be myself
Sure, I’d like to believe that you are talking about
“the cute mysterious guy”
but I am sure it is just the usual
“why is he so weird?”
You happen to be laughing whenever I catch your eye
I am sorry if my assumptions and judgements are
stronger than my common sense and will
but I keep seeing you staring at me out of the corners of your eyes

af

(written with pen on paper at rocky’s)

afraid of being what we are
complex in our theories
the enemy and the believer
living in all sides of the political pool
often drowning in hypocrisy
unable to bear the nuance of our depth

af

(written with pen on paper)

If I look out this window from the corner bakery
in the right way
at the right moment of clouded illumination
it looks as if there is a thin blanket of snow
holding onto that last of the holiday spirit

This is the perfect picture of urban nature
The cars, workers, birds, bakers, stop lights continue moving without
ever noticing this little magical wonderment
Too much has gotta be done in this city, I suppose
but seeing this makes me feel like a kid again,
gives me a jolt of that wonderful awestruck spirit

I think I will stay here…

I am not coming back to life this morning…

af

(written with pen on paper)

I think about what I have done
what I never give myself credit for
just had to get it done
    just a new experience

You won’t get me, don’t comprehend me
sucked into the sipher of society
don’t worry
don’t matter how weird it gets
you never will

I do not exist here anymore

af

(written with pen on paper)

apparently
i am moving

apparently
skipping in existence

apparently
there is a green tea and banana in front of me
but I said no
which is strange

i don’t really feel anything

sore
tired of abuse
this instrument
this sword
morning, at night
times in between

habit
responsibility
the fear of going back
if I decide to face the discipline

i will figure it out

 
af

(choice pickings from a free-write)