In the car, on the road

hours ahead of me with time to spare

New York to Los Angeles

 

everything planned, everything on schedule

I arrive at the first train

first omen received

and I foolishly ignore

I trade the world center for middle town

and I wait, and wait

(It’s alright…plenty of time)

finally arrive, one avenue to walk

snaking my way through drunk tourists

pinballing through convicts, being shoved by police

station platform number two

omens number two and three

(Plenty of time…I’ll get my pass later)

one omen down

Ellington’s train passes…and passes…and passes

(Be patient)

number two

no train for me as a dozen others come and go

all the rest of the world on schedule

(Ninety minutes to travel ninety minutes…)

subway arrives…and we wait

doors close, arrive at next stop…and we wait

door close, next stop…and we wait…and wait

on and on, every stop grows longer

forty-five minutes for a twenty minute ride

(Patience…faith…I’ll make it)

…and the voices begin

“You are going to miss it.”

(I know the secrets…my optimism will not break)

“Idiot, be realistic.  Flight is gone.”

(I refuse to give up…faith)

eight oh eight, last stop

next up train three, two bags, check-in, security, gate sprint

“Never going to happen.”

(Faith)

I run, and run

up a flight of stairs

three floors up an elevator

dash clear across an entire station

massive lobby, get pass

“You wasted time…not as wise as you think.”

through the gate and two more tunnels

as I see the doors open

down the corridor

a mob rushing towards me as I try to get

into the hole they all leave from

sweat begins beading and I jump through the threshold

last train…and we wait…and wait

“It is not going anywhere…too late.”

(I’ll make it)

“Your belief is childish bullshit.”

thirty-five minutes to take-off

and I have yet to arrive at the airport

(I, alone, control the rate at which time passes)

five stops left, four, three two one

doors open and I sprint

forty pounds of luggage assisting my training

up the stairs, half mile of tunnel

I try for a quick check-in

“Sorry, you cannot check-in under thirty minutes of take-off.”

(I will not give up…I am here)

full speed to the agents

plead and beg

as they point out

that my flight leave in exactly twenty-two minutes

I have a suitcase, and it is too late for that

(Patience…faith)

Then, before my eyes,

they are turned inside out as angels

the both of them

one gets on the phone

the other asks me wink-wink obvious questions

so as to allow me to carry-on my suitcase

back to the call, to the gate, who refuses to allow me to board

(Faith, hope…I know the answer…I am so close)

as this angel, wielding her authority

forces them to acknowledge my ticket

nine minutes was the deal

forged on my behalf

boarding pass…security

doors close in eight

I cut to the front of the line

to find a dozen, still, ahead of me

(I do not want or hope…I know )

and my last angel appears

opens a new line, allowing me first through

(I believe…Faith…I…Believe)

strip down…

coat, scarf, shoes, laptop

bins falling everywhere

(I WILL Make It)

I get shot up with an unhealthy dose of radiation

four minutes

as I prove that I am not a terrorist

(So close…Faith…One step at a time)

get re-dressed…bag repacked…sweat pouring

I grab my suitcase, sling my pack

tear past homeland security, past police, past rifles

past an entire airport of dreamers and fear-mongers

(run faster…faster)

gate number six

two hundred yards

 

flight time…eight forty-five

on plane…eight forty-four

 

For four hours

I heard a voice screaming in my head, in my ear

all the impossibilities ahead of me

but I remembered all the impossibilities

that I have already overcome

 

I am now over the mid-west at thirty-thousand feet

smiling, grateful

because I chose to listen to the whisper

of my instincts

rather than the logic of my mind…

 

That

to me

is faith

 

 

 

af

 

 

 

 

(written on a plane)