we are not all leaders

have we forgotten
that in balance
we must have the
inherently submissive?
men and women
equally?
and that there is
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
wrong with that?

a person will be
and should be
who they want to be

help less
be there more
we are all the parts of the whole

af

(written on computer)

Proud to be different
to have smashed closets
content to be here;
time is coming
time always comes
patience always prevails
as it all keeps on moving.

The night was vibrant
understanding the meaning
shouting from my crush-velvet sofa seat
laughing crazy
I Don’t Give A Fuck
die with me and you can live with me
take the risk if you ask for one

Skipping on soon
I’ll be remembered as a passing scent
that weird dude in the corner
just a little too much energy, stared too much
a faint guitar lick of funk and hurt
rodeo hillbilly urbanite stuck in space
I am, started the sentence…

I am…

af

(written with pen on paper)

Screaming in joyful rage

Running full speed until muscles explode

Taking my hand
plunging it deep into my veins
and creating a masterpiece for the world from
the blood I release

Kissing someone so deeply, trying to climb inside of them

Tearing up for no reason other than not having any
other way to exude my joy

Taking a breath so deep that my ribs crack
feeling all existential energy
holding it in my lungs

Waking poor, homeless, sick, alone, debilitated
and wanting nothing else but to smile and keep pushing forward

Forgiving the condemned
understanding that the spirit of perfection lies just as
strong in those who endlessly condemn me

Dancing in a typhoon
…Hearing music in catastrophe
…Poetry in purgatory

Staring into a pair of eyes
that refuse to look away
and reading all the secrets of the world

af

(written with pen on paper, inspired by my muse)

Do I have something on my face?
They would tell me, right?
I mean, they all are giving me this look
especially that one girl and one guy
there is a kind of smirk to it.
Maybe it is because I have not brushed my teeth yet.
I checked for specks of meat and food
poppy seeds, overnight film
Yellow, but trash-free
I did take a hit of weed before I left the apartment
could they have smelled it still?
were they approving or laughing me off?

I never really talk with them
outside of boring early morning everyman chit chat
They look at me
I smile and imagine everything they think about me
Nice enough guy
    Strange, quiet, a little weird
    What does he do?
    Why only a notebook?
Then I sit in my seat alone away from everyone
for an hour or so
write
and stare off over a medium house w/ soy, two raw sugars

and when those voices that talk in my head get too chaotic
or there become too many of them
that is when I check-out

I pretend I am this handsome man, strong and confident
the women look at me as they pass
I just had to say hello

I pretend I am a healer
and people look into my eyes to feel peace
to know they are capable of healing themselves
and that I have given them some hope and strength to fight for

I pretend I am a brilliant and famous artist
memories and dreams orbiting me
shared with all those who look in me

I laugh a lot when I am alone
it is when I do so the most
but right now
I look up and notice
they all are still looking, dozens of minutes later
and I do not think I will ever know why

af

(written with pen on paper)

When I wake up now and go for a walk
the Purchase
the du Monte
the drums and horns
the spring in winter
the mighty miss
the hot sauce
the basin, rampart, frenchman
the to-go cup
the 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th
the lake and levees
the coup and kermit’s
the ghosts
the hurricanes and humidity and hustlers
the parades
the foot of canal street
are all now just a walk away

af

(Happy Mardi Gras)

There is a downpour outside right now…
Wash Away Our Sins, Lord!!!
Cleanse ours Souls…Cleanse our World…Cleanse our Gutters

I used to believe life was achieving a perfection
then I heard god roar on the roof;
I cannot even see out my window now

Seems that this rain is a reminder of how much I have
what is important, permanent
how much could be washed away
with early morning thunder
» Read the rest of this entry «

With great power comes great responsibility.
Never too sure if I have a chosen destiny or if
I am supposed to create my own purpose.
Are purpose and destiny even the same?
I think often of that simple phrase:
“I am not strong enough.”
It is often a result of doubt which is often a
result of something challenging in my life
which is often a result of desire or a manifestation which
often is a result of me deciding what I want which
is often a result of me either being unknowing or
refusing to accept my destiny, my purpose,
my gifts and the reason(s) I have them.
This morning, however, a very unique thought occurred
to me after another nightmare-filled evening:
“I am stronger than I think because, until this
point, I have simply chosen not to be.”
So, if I choose weakness when confronted with
the question of understanding or realizing my destiny,
then I must be also choosing to ignore possibilities
and if I choose, then, to ignore the possibilities of who I am,
then I am intentionally cowering from the ability within me,
that natural power instilled that has already predetermined that
I shall have “no doubt except that which I choose…”
…another circle of life.
My destiny, then, is not to be anything.
My purpose, then, is not to get to any particular goal.
Accomplishment, success, destination are, then, false gods.
Perhaps, then, there is nothing for me to realize, to understand.
I only need to know that
with great power comes great responsibility
and my power is universal and endless
as is my strength,
and my destiny,
simply,
is just to know that,
and to be just that.

 
af

(written with pen on paper)