Do I have something on my face?
They would tell me, right?
I mean, they all are giving me this look
especially that one girl and one guy
there is a kind of smirk to it.
Maybe it is because I have not brushed my teeth yet.
I checked for specks of meat and food
poppy seeds, overnight film
Yellow, but trash-free
I did take a hit of weed before I left the apartment
could they have smelled it still?
were they approving or laughing me off?

I never really talk with them
outside of boring early morning everyman chit chat
They look at me
I smile and imagine everything they think about me
Nice enough guy
    Strange, quiet, a little weird
    What does he do?
    Why only a notebook?
Then I sit in my seat alone away from everyone
for an hour or so
write
and stare off over a medium house w/ soy, two raw sugars

and when those voices that talk in my head get too chaotic
or there become too many of them
that is when I check-out

I pretend I am this handsome man, strong and confident
the women look at me as they pass
I just had to say hello

I pretend I am a healer
and people look into my eyes to feel peace
to know they are capable of healing themselves
and that I have given them some hope and strength to fight for

I pretend I am a brilliant and famous artist
memories and dreams orbiting me
shared with all those who look in me

I laugh a lot when I am alone
it is when I do so the most
but right now
I look up and notice
they all are still looking, dozens of minutes later
and I do not think I will ever know why

 

 

 

af

 

 

 

(written with pen on paper)