What is it you really want?

You are at an age far beyond me
unattached for stubborn reasons of your own
as I am
because you crave your independence

You say you want someone to share life with
who respects you and loves you
and you need distance solitude and freedom

Above all, you are proud of your sexual prowess
get satisfied and move on
all not too different than what I ask of you

So, if we are the same
and I just happen to say
bluntly
what’s your goal, want, desire,
avoiding your hoops and charges,
take no offense toward me for honesty

afterall
the truth will set you free

af

(written with pen on paper)

awake again living
watching the lady
with the baby
singing Hallelujah
swaying
and the baby
naive safe warm rested

visual poetry

not sure if i can get high anymore

anger points
security points
presumptuous assumptuous perception
habitually assuming some devil
took over my mother

chest high puffed deep breathing

five years to prove

taking advantage
reaffirming
struggles are good
suffering is good
those feelings
washing
enjoying my successes
my unconscious subconscious

then i look
a healthy dose of crazy inside those eyes
a hunter

go to sleep night
in morning
a puff, habit, thrive

there is always a choice
accepting what life is
what it gives you
what I make of it

af

(choice pickings from a free-write)

to annoy, to inspire, to give a general
Fuck You
to everyone and everything

and when you see through

if you see through it

and understand why I have

taken my arm and cleared

every drop of shit off my desk

and smirk through the arrogance…

if you come back smirking
then I will allow you in -
you can come along for this crazy life

who the fuck knows what the next stop is

but ain’t this train ride fun?

af

(written with pen on paper staring out the window on another journey)

it’s just nice being happy
cannot stop talking about it
is exuding from me
is pouring out of me
words
dancing insane down the street
laughing to myself
bouncing off the proverbial walls

it makes me not want to hide
anything
ever
to get in people’s faces trying to force
you
to get right back in mine
to engulf me in your energy
let’s play
running together
spinning the wheel
living in agape

the deafening chaos
horns screams white noise black noise
pandemonium
cacophonies of anarchy
all filling the balloon of pure joy…

it feels like the path to the eternal energy
eternal spirit
eternal it
i am
and life finally feels right!

af

(written on computer – in life)

i dreamed once of living down on the islands
flying around
living amongst the drunkards
the rebel, the renegade
the writer
sipping liquor at 8am
making love at 1am
wanderlust at 3pm

dreamed that I would one day get on the jet-stream
and do what life is supposed to do
and let it all be healed

it all made so much sense

it was the choice I was meant to make

af

(written on computer)

paper, sheet by sheet
words letter by letter, permanent
no room for error so choose carefully what to say

slow down
listen to the flute on the turntable
“look into her eyes”

not meant to stay here not meant to be here
drift
drift away
drift away is
drift away is the
drift away is the purpose

I am in this chair
I am drifting through air somewhere else
I am walking
I am making love
…all in this same moment

not meant to know only one possibility

the rap-shots of each letter slapping the page
leaving its stamp on this world
as I am
as this chant is as well
all together for the same reason

no distractions
shrouded in scrolls of ideas

feeding this typewriter for as long as
these eyes will stay open

af

(written on typewriter)

I am not here

my roots were lifted years ago
I am
balancing here for just a few more weeks

right now is about preparation
reading training stocking

take what you need
leave the rest

sexual cleansing

thirty-four days
till those tires land

a transparent pilgrim
living past life
looking for more than answers

I am not here

I am in limbo

finishing up the page

before I walk back into the abyss

 
af

(written ready to go)