Often

one finds themselves ill-prepared

for a counter-attack to an onslaught

of an army of vampires;

Silver bullets are too expensive

Stakes break, splinter the hands

and open wounds do not aid a successful defense

Is there anything left sacred in today’s holy water?

Which leaves garlic…lethal, but not very practical.

My dear friend, though, has created

a solution

for the common man.

So, gather around, one and all:

 

Every God-fearing ‘Merican has a gun

and every non-God-fearing one has a gun as well

for protection from

all the God-fearing ‘Mericans with guns.

Recipe…

take a large pot

fill it with glue

add multiple pounds of minced garlic

(strain juice first)

add ammunition, stir

and in two to four minutes

you have a healthy arsenal of

Garlic Bullets.

 

The technology is one hundred percent certified

and the results are one hundred percent effective

 

Good luck

Godspeed

and fear not the vampire

 

 

- af

 

 

 

 

(written with pen on paper)

 

§ 2 Responses to garlic bullets"

• Pat CANNON says:

  January 31, 2013 at 6:50 PM

  There was a movie back in the 70′s called “Garlic is better than 10 mothers.”
  So eat your garlic, don’t play with it. Unless you have Vampires.

  Reply
  • Anthony says:

    February 1, 2013 at 2:19 PM

    One never knows when a friend has crossed over to the dark side. This is a positive of being Italian…there will never be an Italian vampire

    Reply