Hammer is in my hand
patience patience patience
“I need another kiss” she climbs on top of me
falls asleep in my arms on my chest
breathe…
The weight of body weighed against the weight of passion
“i love you” (did she just whisper that?)
Wanted to say that to you since I met you
say it a lot?
Thoughts and words are very different
fantastic vs. reality, battle of humanity
Ain’t yet convinced that what’s in my mind is -
- “please kiss me…i need you”
or maybe just someone?
When the thought arrives..
…what does it matter if that someone is you?
tap tap tap
Inhaling in a futile attempt to explode
can’t get my hand down my throat to scratch my lungs
what I wanted
everything in every moment all at once
potatoes nine ways, tenth for god
binge personality
but buddha replaced booze and bud
“kiss me…”
scrape steel on my teeth
ready to swing
muscles clenching…habitually retractng
music louder
strings across Stradivarius’
“Ain’t the way…”  stubborn stubborn “…plans made…”
answers predetermined in anywhere
but here
God bless America?
why should he give a fuck?
raising arm..hammer heavy…cannot…
how long you been staring at that wall
replies the confusion of her nymphness
“Never knew anything but it”
Time calcifies sheetrock, wood beams
new hardened fossils of frustration
Preach not…
walk swing walk
need want desire
Can’t love if you don’t let go
My words, not mine…remember that
There Was A Time When We Were Simple
crawl into the cave, fly
loathe hypocrisy?
then do it…do it…do it…do it
swing first…hammer ready now
“…I’m here to help you fuck that wall up…”

 

 

 

af

 

 

 

(written with pen on paper, feeling the chaos of my mind returning…finally)