You realize you are responsible for this?

 

Whenever I explain this new life to a stranger or friend

you are the one, I exclaim, who was insane enough

to throw the tank of gasoline on the smoldering sticks

I had tried to ignite for years

Everyone mocked me

gave me too many reasons, valid as they may be,

why it can’t work, won’t work, shouldn’t work

and all you said was,

“Brilliant!!!”

 

The definition of a friend has been difficult for me to describe lately

as the more I have stood by those I have cared about

the more I realized that I have not had anyone standing by me

I am a proud one, a despiser of pity,

but lonely all the same

holding to the belief that

a friend is family with different blood

 

There is deep humility in my gratitude

because I understand how it is all too easy to take advantage

in a world where people receive so much yet still

find nothing inside to give

We are but a pale blue dot in an endless universe

and perhaps what I am doing,

this pilgrimage I am undertaking,

has no purpose and will accomplish nothing…

At least I am creating rather than destroying

trying, still, to give more than I receive

 

This journey is not mine alone

as you have emerged as a brother

walking beside me, validating my madness with yours

You are as much responsible for

every word

every poem

every person thought of

and every bit of everything

that is a result of

that is created within

this lonely, crazy artist’s life

 

You gave me this dollar

as a gift for myself,

to let my mind wander

I pay it forward to you

my friend

who is responsible for giving me a purpose

 

 

 

 

af

 

 

 

 

(written with pen on paper)