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$15,000 in debt
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15,000 poems

reality or truth

May 17th, 2013 § 0 comments

Poem #124 for Char Marie


i am stuck

poems to write

pieces of me asking quietly to roam free

to relax

but i am too busy distracting myself…

a nerve has been touched

and i am completely conflicted

throughout the past few years

i have been successful in reconnecting

with the child still burrowed in me

the one with the secret to all of life

who I was born as but soon left behind


i remember the dreams:


The beautiful woman

the sickly good feeling of that intense crush

electricity tingling in every capillary

as I suddenly desire to be a better person

a better artist

Me, coming in to sweep her away

confess to her one moment

on which i create an entire life from


The dreams

would be a fantasy of valor, honor, character

never involving me

buying a love

having an entourage supporting me

me, alone in the world

and i turn a corner

to see her see me…

my world would stop…

sometimes I would save her

sometimes we would just look at each other…

but it would always end with



i know now as a product of age

that it is difficult to stay so near-sighted

even though

those dreams of my childhood never included the future

they were always that one moment only

that allowed

that still allows

me to love at a level

too great for today’s modern world of independence


i struggle with my stereotypes…

willed or not

they always seem to fulfill


i get criticized for my approach

but i remember watching the movie

seeing that young boy sleep at the steps

of his true love

a lady he gazed eyes upon only once


i think about how


once upon a time

was romantic


Romeo and Juliet


about how that is what made its impression

on me

very young


just now

i am reconnecting

shutting out society

and listening, remembering

living the life of love i know

just know

down in the soul’s core

of this city boy drifter

to be real

could be real

as long as two people have the courage to make it real


i just give

i find the balance





because both are necessary

so i give

i want to give

i will continue to give

but i take as well



and i create endless pages

of romance

of life

of nothing but words


which all seems to have lead me here


because i met a girl

i found my muse

but she got too busy

and i now find myself

questioning my beliefs

holding on to what i knew was


a real moment in this life…

an opportunity at vintage, uninhibited risk


i wish i knew what is next…









(written with pen on paper)

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