i am alone

 

lately, that is too rare an occurrence

one i cherish

both for its existence

and for its briefness

 

void of a winter for quite some time

there is hope every time i glance out a window

hoping to see snow

but seeing only the grayness of the urban backdrop

dry

 

so i go away

 

remembering popping up in my paneled bedroom

single-digit in age but spiderman at my window

seeing nothing but a world sculpted in white frost

 

remembering far from my house

standing in the middle of the road

eyes closed and all my crying nights vanished to the vapor sky

…the silence

the indescribable magic of opening my arms to anything life consisted of

in those untouched snows of nirvana

 

remembering holiday nights

drunk as an adult

escaping the circus to stand in the street

to awe at endless people in their boxes

and listen to the silence

knowing i was in this perfect world

outside, alone

witnessing angels flurrying to paint the earth for morning

 

it is dark now outside

seeing only my silhouette in this blinded glass

back here in reality

dreaming of room ten o nine

 

never lonely

with friends like these…

 

 

 

af

 

 

 

 

(written on computer)