the safety of rejection

with those who are unavailable
love exists
passion exists
lust exists
friendship exists
trust exists

and at the end of each day
there is a twisted comfort
knowing another man must
make the commitment

the safety of being reassured
with selfish desire
that i am ideal
but just not quite good enough

the safety to believe in and want badly
something more
but justifying my pride’s
lack of worth

such an
indescribable
painful
bliss

af

(written in little notebook)