Wherever your mind can take you
that is where I want to go;

To the dreams and impossibilities
that sound like those crackling long plays
the good jazz
skipping over and over on the same descending triplet
and we, oblivious
never noticing how many hours go by
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Unexpected days walking miles in these shoes
can’t barely walk no more

Too much tomorrow
too much later

Always a reason to remain immobile
when life looks so hard

Shallow breathing
waxed up nostrils

The heat has finally arrived
the devil’s breathe in summer

Exploring streets trying hard to stay naive
“as if I have just arrived”

…this sun continuing to melt off the doubt
and my journey finally continues

af

(written with pen on paper, hidden inside my notebook)

It is all so unknown…
Everything that is about to happen in my life…
There is nothing but nothingness ahead of me…
I cannot look forward, there is nothing beyond this moment…
I do not know how to follow this path…
I am frightened…

The courage i need, do I have it, will it appear?

I know nothing…

af

(written in little notebook)

I am tired of hearing artists
beautiful, deeply creative artists
letting the words
I have to protect myself
ever escape from their lips…
it is bad enough that wretched phrase is even a thought
in the artist’s mind.

Unprotected against the world…
That is the whole point;
To be the exception within the human race
simply for the experiences it brings.
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…to get drunk out of my mind
to forget that i even have a mind
and just swim in imagination
blasting music
quieting all the voices
drift away with the weed
dreaming about the impossible woman
feeling the breeze of the crispy air
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i am furiously frustrated
suffocated
bloated, in pain
crying and grinding my teeth together
thinking about
everything i shouldn’t be thinking about
on such a beautiful day
digging deeper
more pain
and deeper
more pain
and deeper still asking and asking
till i get an answer
ask some more
the words the fears
the helplessness of being stuck
a mouse on glue
feeling like the only way for me to survive
is for me to chew my own feet off
crippled but i would still be going
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waking up lonely
frustrated
having so much to say
knowing so much
feeling stuck
powerless
uneducated
insignificant
lost
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