Water is fluid stillness

tranquil, of course

but violent, brutally honest, caring

To me, the sea is mysterious;

I have read books

imagined the most exciting of journeys

all involving the endlessness of the earth

as experienced on the water

but it always held nothing but fears

even though I was raised on an island

A few weeks into this journey

I found myself living on the Pacific Ocean;

something strange overcame me

an inner strength, a confidence that catapulted

as a result of waking by the sun

opening my eyes to nothing but water

Every trip since

involving the inner city, the outer city, another city

has literally lowered

my stamina

my passion

my momentum

and I have a few more weeks to go

being away from that magical liquid

I was not going to write this evening

a victim, once again, to life’s monotony

which wills more and more patterns

back into my life

But, I remembered my intent

on living with character

decided to close my eyes

listen to the ocean

smell the salty air

and understand the omen

that the sea

is the only thing that can heal me

af

(written on computer, finally alone)

Dear Mom,

Words seem to have ceased to exist between us

Dozens of letters have been written to you

buried in a box in my closet

all too angry for what I really would like to say

Tonight, now

in living up to the character I expect of myself

I need to tell you, honestly…

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When I was your age

I was Jack Kerouac

and I was John Lennon

I would walk through central park

high, just floating through the paths

free, young, couldn’t give a shit about anything

But I would get anxious,

whisper words of wisdom

like staples scraping my skin from the inside

i wake up to the sound of music

and I would put on the record

headphones plugged in, a pair of giant earmuffs

turning the dial to the loudest I could handle

The truth is

life sucks sometimes

they teach us in school how to succeed

but never prepare us for failing…

that is exactly why we feel so insufficient

sometimes

The failure is there to help

perhaps an omen that the path was too dark

or a slight delay in case you were not ready yet

So, disregard the status quo

stock up on your records

plug in and slow down for a few moments, a few songs

learn the lessons you need and continue forward;

Understand, it’s going to go bad

otherwise life would contain no balance

And, when it gets better

which it always does, always will,

always

take those songs with you

and live deep inside every moment you exist

It’s strange, but, after a while

the bad ain’t so bad anymore

it’s just a part of it all

that’s the life they don’t teach you…

af

(written on computer)

Truth:

Character is a simple process

of saying

yes

or

no

needing not explain

because your actions

say it all

that your integrity

the honesty

in your day to day life

leaves no doubt

no question

This is the secret to universal oneness;

to have compassion for our enemies

live with decisiveness

rather than intention

to not answer from impulse

but to understand the answer

be secure that the answer

is in balance with spiritual cleanliness

then commit

yes

or

no

and never waiver

from that integrity

regardless the consequence

Truth

is character

together

they create one

af

(written with pen on paper)

Universal oneness?

Peace?

People try too damn hard

too damn, damn hard

searching

having but wanting

thinking but counteracting

Fly!!!

Just stop and fly already

Why else were you born with wings?

The universal oneness of creation

is that everything is made from the chaos of peace

rising from the ashes of the phoenix

always born, and born, and born again

af

(written with pen on paper)

The invasion began years ago.

I looked up at work one day

witnessed the green streaks

wings slicing through a blue sky.

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My feet started walking

then faster, a turn here a turn there

and I am climbing a mountain…

Dark luscious trees guard me from the cold wind

when a path appears, jagged, leading in five directions

I chose the narrow one, the neglected one

Lost in my mental confusion

I turn the barrel and march forward

digging fingers in the mud as I cling to

branches and boulders climbing above the clouds

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